HISTORY

When. How and Why

by Jeanne (56-N-1) FPE

"The beauty of man lies in his strength. The strength of woman lies in her beauty".

Here is my life story from as far back as two years old. Several Psychiatrists I went to a few years ago, all decided that my mother had wished for a girl before I was even born. They could not say though if it had any effect on my character. Any- way, my mother must have been very deceived, because I was born a boy. About my two first years, I don't remember a thing, of course. But from two or two and a half I do remember many things. I had long, curly blond hair and mother was very fond of it. She used to tie a satin bow in it when we were alone in the house. At that early age, I was her doll and I got a lot of attention and caresses, I must have kept my long hair until three and a half or four.

One day my father, without saying anything to my mother, took me to the barber and had my hair cut, to another girlish style, called in those days "the square cut". It was normal in those days to give that girlish cut even to boys. When we arrived home, mother had a terrible shock. She started to cry and to scold my father for what he had done with- out saying a word to her beforehand. I even remember her saying, "he looked more beautiful before". It hurt me to hear my mother say that, and I was mad at my father to make mother cry for nothing. Maybe I wished for the first time then, to be more like a girl and to go back to my long hair as before. Mother gave me less attention from then on. And I felt it with great sorrow.

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